Thursday, January 10, 2008
Its weird how harris's words came true for me after he told us about Franz Kafka and how we'd start to notice Kafka, Kafka-esque, Kafka-ish, Kafka-whateverish after he'd intro-ed us to this writer. Heh ohwell at the moment seems like im the only one so acutely aware of the all these terms around us.
Just finished one of his books - Metamorphosis. Some would say its deliciously nightmarish; I swear its pure distopia..
This Russian guy, Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find himself helplessly and haplessly stuck in the shell of a human-sized bug. He still possesses human thought, but cannot communicate it to those around him. His family, terrified by this sudden and monstrous change in him, keep him confined to his room for the rest of his days. The story weaves its nuances around Gregor's unconveyed thoughts and how his good intentions are continually misinterpreted as 'attacks' from the 'thing' he has become. Especially gripping is are the descriptions of him trying to manouver his bug's body out of the normal human sleeping position; and the attack by his own father that results in an apple being embedded in his flesh. He ultimately becomes forgotten as a family disgrace and is left to die; but the weird thing I came to realise at the end of the novel was that Gregor's 'sacrifice' was ultimately the thing that changed his family's lives for the better. His father was pushed out of slothful retirement, his sister found new life in a job outside of household chores and his mother learned to stand up for what she's worth; eventually they just seemed to develop a vitality they never had when Gregor was the sole breadwinner for the family.
Disturbing but intriguing huh?
Its 90% unnerving throughout the story.. Then suddenly its like light(!) at the end of the tunnel haha. (Of course thats purely taken in my own interpretation la). Im always on the lookout for Kafka now though; heh and my next target will be A Clockwork Orange. Yl got me all interested that time staying over.. But of course thats just upping the ante (and considering the speed im used to reading thats not very good :/)
Ive actually thoughts on more books, but later maybe..
||| out of tune at 10:21 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I shouldnt be here blogging random stuff at this hour.
My sweet stolen minute ;)
But i'd just thought id like to say something about the thing thats been making me give rather on-the-spur desperate looks and utterings to some of my classmates.
Huayshan will say "ah yes i know i know... your art right?"
Yeah my art.
But what really qualifies me to go round spouting this word like newater from our taps?
One thing i can say for sure, for all those who've been asking me if im still alive these few days, is that yes, and im loving any single mmt of it:) i never thought my interest in this piece and this whole concept would last me as far as tody, but miraulously it has. I thought id get damned sick of my artwork, feel like puking etcetc. Heh, well this is one long lasting affair (whooo).
At the risk of sounding saccharine, (sucks eh, our skepticism) i do believe this is perhaps what we'd call passion:D
There.
I can sleep now.
Nighthawks everybody
||| out of tune at 11:33 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Just some trivia i came across in my battle to stay awake on the art notes :/
Copyrights go to huayshan ( i still cant decide whether you rock or you suck girl:p)
d'oh questions for d'oh people like me.
1.do histones have anything to do with history? why the similarity in name then?
2.tell me why we get full after eating? why can't we just eat non stop and still feel hungry?
3.do your toenails grow faster than your fingernails or do they grow at the same speed?
4.why isn't there a peanut-butter-and-kaya-and-scrambled-egg sandwich selling anywhere?
5.why can't we lick our elbows?
answers to d'oh questions from d'oh people like me.
1. Yeah. You get em' from over-indulgence in Southeast Asian History. Regularly flushed out with a certain TIACT.
2. Oh..I never really do get full. You do??
3. Brudder, your life must be pretty sad for you to actually want to determine this fact.
4. Hmm.. Well it has to be because the sandwich fraternity aint so big on the 'mixed blood' looks
5. and we aint no friggin giraffes. d'oh.
Back to my brain-addling art notes then ;)
||| out of tune at 3:37 PM
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
It wasn't my choice to let go either
It damn well hurt just as bad
It is still, and always will be my prayer that i learn to find true joy and strength to help out with the kids.
But there wont be much getting around the peel and heal process
||| out of tune at 11:22 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
done with all thats happened.
done, but never forgotten.
but y'know i am renewed everyday when i see that the Lord's wonderful goodness never fails me? I begin to realise how i had, in the past, more often than not, dragged my feet to sunday service; how id seen many things as a duty, a job; how id got through each sunday perhaps barely seeing the people arnd me. Yeah sure id looked at them, but there was always this youre here and im taking it for granted kind of sentiment.
but now.
things are different.
faith is having the full assurance that God has planned everything to perfection for me.
it didnt seem like it at the time,
but now more and more,
it does:)
I've come to realise the true meaning of coming into His presence with joy, for i look forward to learning more, and as a result, then serving more in His will for me. Its like a whole new world has suddenly and wondrously opened up, a world that, probably, was blurred by the 'jobs' and expectations of before. Now im convinced we really have to put down everything and come to Him with one mind, then only do we experience true joy:)
id never thought id benefit from staying in a younger class, but somehow the lessons give me something new every week. id never thought that sermons hit bulls eye every week, now i see it does. id never thought simple games like scissors paper stone could make me do anything other than roll my eyes, but i laughed till i wanted to cry last week.
id never understood the idea of living out joy, somehow i seem to feel that more and more:)
let go.put down.turn your eyes upon Him.
its hard, and im not perfect
but it helps,
really.
||| out of tune at 6:44 PM
Monday, March 05, 2007
i guess i was wrong too
it took me by storm, even as id built up a wall of defence around my heart, put the nuts and bolts in place, secured the panels and slid the locks into place - i guess i left a loophole.
A huge hole has been gouged into my heart, more so as you were the very ones whom id built my ministry amongst the church youth around.
Its gonna take a bloody long time to heal
Tears dry up overnight
But scars, oh, they leave an everlasting mark
No doubt some will stay, and i truly thank God for them.
Yet i really dont know when, or how, i can become a mentor of sorts to the younger ones that are left.
Still, i believe God has a way of using me to bless others even in the midst of personal loss.
And it will be my constant prayer for God to hold me together and to move on with life
Say to those who are fearful hearted
Do not be afraid
The Lord your God
Is strong with His mighty arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save
He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Say to the weary one
Your God will surely come
He will come and save you
He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him
You will arise again
He will come and save you
Say to those who are broken hearted
Do not lose your faith
The Lord your God
Is strong with His loving arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save
Let this be some encouragement to everyone out there who shed tears for one reason or other.
He will save:)
||| out of tune at 11:52 AM
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My long-anticipated new yr break is flying past rwarrrh!! heh i look forward to these like 4/5 days or so of disrupted routine but i spend my new years basically wasting my life away in some stuffy old chinatown house :p well i do appreciate and get used to the sitting around (stoning and letting the cantonese gabble wash over my head), but i really wish my so-called visitations were more interesting and busy (as in like go to one house, 'fang ge pi" then all-so-importantly get up and "make a move" to another house haha). Ohwells, at least today there was some form of pleasant interruption in the arrival of the new addition to the family; as well as my cousin's very amusing description of how to communicate with a 3yr old tyke during swimming lessons.
Him: whoa its really different communicating with kids that age man.. totally have to use a different language
Us: really? like how?
Him: like when teaching them to swim the breaststroke, cannot say push outwards like that (does the breaststroke movement). must tell them two circles and clap (does the same movement but this time with kid-voice and roll-eyes)
haha i tell you it was damn funny.
so when the lil baby got our attention, i managed to grab some shots of him. hope this turns out right://
Okay then basically im here to reply to tags la
CHNG HIGHNESS: haha yeah you have the honour lor.. ergh one of these days you just wait and see.. haha you really looking forward to visitation? but we not going shao's house got no kong-bak-pao and dumplings!!! :( not fun alr lor mwahah:P oh yea! i rem last yr when we were sitting on the bus after visitation we had this conspiracy thing going on. or some big secret or some big topic right? haha hmmm but this year i just go shirs hse can alr haha its like dont even have to get dressed nicely cos its so near, plus can wake up SO mauch later lor:P
YUEN HUAYSHAN: eh why you always say things wanna make me puke ah? i barely know you for two yrs you have this kinda effect on me - poison isit? heh ehhh isnt that what the Cardinal did to Julia?!
haha wa lau im no malcontent and pls wake up your idea youre not a chicken like julia lor! :P
cant wait for wed erh. and the message from peiying makes it so much worse. its like so what? if we dont pass you not gonna give us the jersey and jacket? haha im desperate know...
||| out of tune at 10:04 PM
